Making new traditions while still taking part in your old ones.

Ask anyone who is married or in a serious relationship, and they’ll tell you one of the hardest parts about growing up and growing together might be having to share or split up your holidays. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and I still remember the first one I didn’t spend with my family—and the first Christmas I wasn’t home really didn’t feel like Christmas to me either. But I’ve come to terms with this as I’ve realized how fortunate I am to now have more family and more traditions.

I came to this realization as I was decorating a Christmas tree with my husband in our home. It was our second year doing so, and we had made some traditions that we were carrying on from the previous year, such as where we purchased our tree, the music we listened to while we decorated, and even the order in which we put up some of the decorations.

We were decorating and “Winter Song” by Sara Bareilles came on our playlist. I felt myself tear up a little (it’s a sentimental song), thinking about all the years I decorated a tree with my family of four and that my parents now had to decorate a tree by themselves. It occurred to me that instead of being sad, I should be overflowing with gratitude that I still have the opportunity to gather around a tree with those same people and now more. I wasn’t being forced to make new traditions to fill a void from old ones that had been taken away, I was making new traditions on top of the ones I still get to participate in, though maybe now it’s just every other year, or a few days after the holiday.

As your family expands, some of your traditions are bound to change, but the great news is, you get to make new ones.